Goodbye Hipster

My Love,

Within the last month it has come to my attention that I have to end my loveship with you.

Will it be hard to do? Yes.

Is it really necessary you ask? It’s debatable.

I really hearted you.

You were so sleek and so light.

...the one to keep me cool and dry.

Your structure, seamless...a no-show smoothness.

And breathable indeed. 

Just like you said.

I had options with you - classic options - white, taupe, black, and baby blue.

Seriously, who could ask for any other?

And to think, i just checked the other day and there were 4 stars by your name.

I saw that someone name Xantha, obviously felt the same way about you.

 “Comfortable and had no ride up”…is what Xantha stated.

That’s how I felt too…well, in the beginning.

However my love, these days you’re not feeling so sleek or light.

I mean it’s like you're suffocating me...

I feel your presence EVERYWHERE I go.

And you know that no-show smoothness? Well, it’s showing.

So I guess ending my loveship for you is necessary and is not debatable.

I’ve held you close to me for so long because I really just don’t have time to search for another of your stature.

Please don’t be upset. Please know that I enjoyed our time together.

I am sure some young gal will come along, be wowed by you and experience all you have to offer her. But for us, we have reached the end of our journey.

And my love, if you should decide to change your structure, let me know…I’d be willing to try you out again. Stay classy.

In Breath by Barely There Hipster  Pantie Love,

~K

Life happens late at night.

I usually enjoy a cigarette or three at night, mainly around midnight…sometimes 3 or 4AM…depends.

I don’t smoke indoors; I really don’t think it’s a good thing to do.

I like to take a small walk while smoking and find it enjoyable to smoke right near my neighbor’s window.

You can bet I’m going to carry my cell phone with me so I can talk, you know, that’s what we young folk tend to do – we’re connected at the ear and hip. 

What can I say? My friends and I like to talk. Okay, usually it’s me doing most of talking. I’ve got a lot of things going!!! For example: 

Last month I was extremely upset over this dude I had been dating for about a week. So I took a walk, had few smokes and called a friend. I told my friend that I was upset over this guy I liked a lot and that he was acting funny towards me. I told her that I gave it up to him (we had sex). I usually wait a few dates before having sex with the guy I’m seeing.  I told him this beforehand as well. Everything was fine and then he started acting funny. I thought he and his girlfriend may have gotten back together – he says they didn't. I just wanted the real story.

I said I was going to ignore him…but I just couldn’t.  I called him up the other night to see if he wanted to go out but he told me had to work. I was just so frustrated. I called him back after he got off of work and asked him what was he doing? Asked if he want to get it in before going to bed? He said "i dunno," I guess – so I went over his house and we had sex, then I left. 

Another time, I had some friends drive me home after hanging out, I was so toasted. We hung outside, smoked a few cigarettes, talked and laughed.  My one friend even left his car window down and car radio on so we could hear some tunes…good times.

Then there was the time, I had to console my friend who got put out of her house and oh wait…her boyfriend dumped her. We sat outside smoked cigarettes and conversed to the wee hours in the morning.  

What can I say – life happens late at night…ya know?

{The above are my observations of late night conversations which disturb my sleep by my obnoxious neighbor. One can assume this gal is, 1.) Not very mature and has no concern for others, 2.) This gal really enjoys her cigarettes and late night conversation, 3.) This girl has yet to feel or experience the TOTAL wrath of my madness. }

Over.

...the timeless debate continues. You can read more about it here and here or you can just stare in amazement at the graphic (source) above.

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*the post is part of Wordless Wednesday* 

awake.

Naps are a drag.

Well according to my son they are.

No, he really didn't say that!

But that's what I'm starting to get from his behavior.

(I'll spare you the number of weeks).

This dude, is the worse.

Let's start with last weekend...which is where the frustration normally begins - on the weekends!

Saturday, early rise, full day and no afternoon nap.

Sunday, a repeat of Saturday.

I'm sure we have it out every weekend.

(if you and I have ever conversed on the phone during nap drama time, you've heard the  conversation)

I'm always like little dude, you've gotta take a nap!

You take naps at school with friends, you take naps at home, it's that simple!

(I just get the side eye. I'm not sure where he learned that).

Does the kid not understand his little body needs lots of rest?

Or that he will never ever, ever, ever get back lost sleep?

And that with plenty of rest his mental state will be awesome and that he won't be a horrible monster in the afternoon/evening?

I mean that's what research says anyway...in so many words.

Or what about mommy - she needs a nap too, a mental break...research says that too

Okay, maybe I said that...but his nap time is my busy time!

...and now we're into the week

Monday, early rise, full day and no afternoon nap (at school).

And today, well it's Tuesday...and "I bet your bottom dollar" that the little dude didn't take a nap.

But wait it's not the weekdays I'm too worried about, school can deal with that.

Then again...

thought about it - I should worry!

No nap at school makes for a monster in the evening.

I guess I'm screwed either way.

To think there was a time when I had this nap thing all figured out.

Any suggestions? Quick the weekend is fast approaching?

a few things...Home Rules Mix tape Vol. 1.04

It's come to my attention that there are a few things that my kid needs to be aware of and they are:

1. Peddling your tricycle is for you to do, not mom (granted I could use the exercise)
2. Mom picks the boogers, not you.
3. You wake up late, you eat breakfast at school not at home.
4. Just because the "Cat In the Hat" thinks he knows a lot about that does not mean you do too - nor Sally, Nick, or Fish.
5. Sleep...it's awesome and I'll never get the kazillion hours I lost during my 20's and early 30's or nurturing you back, so stop manipulating my sleep and I'll stop manipulating yours.
6. It is not required that we go to the store everyday after school...so please stop asking when I pick you up (and maybe the teachers will stop looking at me weird)
7. You can NOT continue to run out into the street because you love the chase, to pet some unknown animal, because you have to say hi to the squirrel, or because you want to cop a ride someone's bicycle.
8. Prolonging the time you lay in bed does not get you off of potty duty in the AM.

...more to come...

morning brew.

This morning I rose in a different setting - my parents house.
The notion when I sleep over their house is "Don't sleep past 5:30AM or you'll never make it to work ontime". (especially with a toddler). 
...and for anyone that knows me, well you know I am not slap happy in the morning. I am blessed to be alive...but not slap happy to venture into the day.
So usually when we camp out over my parents, I have to con myself into getting up early
(this is where I should be honest insert that I actually have to con myself every morning to get up).
I'd have to say last night was not a restful night. I had a kid poking me, tossing and turning and then I had the pleasure of hearing their smoke detector chirp consistently.
Nevertheless, I did pretty well waking up with the small amount of sleep I had (kudos to me).
I even had enough time to stop for a cup of coffee, which never happens anymore.

My entire drive into work consisted of listening to the radio and deciding where I would stop along the way - starbucks or dunkin donuts (i know awesome morning thoughts)...
Quiet honestly, when I think back...the thought of it all was pretty obsessive!
- Do I want to get a soy caramel macciato because I haven't had one in ages and it oh soothes my soul and takes me to another place?or
- Do I want to get a coffee (and possibly a donut) from dunkin donuts? Why, because everyone runs on dunkin, you know? 
- Which drive through line would be the longest?
- Do I want to stop immediately before I get on the beltway or do I want to stop 5-10 minutes prior to work?
...those sort of questions - back and forth, over and over.
Yep, obsessive!!!

Long story short, I ended up at dunkin donuts
I picked up a cup of coffee (and a donut), had the pleasure of not waiting in line (I went inside and ordered)
Oh it felt so good.
No crazy kid in tote (another story)
I listened to an adult radio station vs. the kiddie CD
and to top it off, a super early arrival to work...

I got myself all situated and settled at my desk and spilled my coffee

Sucks

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Has this ever happened to you? Do you posses any bad morning habits?

Yes, I'd like a side of underarm and belly with that!

Urban Dictionary has a number of definitions for it. I think for general purposes I'll go with definition #1, but definition #6 is the more known definition if you are young and hip -idk, ig! the definition is defined as:

"form fitting white ribbed tank top worn by men;
looks good on well-built fellas, pathetic on skinny fellas,
and disgusting on fat beer bellied fellas."

Dictionary.com only provides one definition for it and it's listed under "slang dictionary." it reads:

   1. n.
      a sleeveless undershirt. (Indicating a low regard for the wearers of the garment. See also boy-beater.) :  He always wears wife-beaters with no outer shirt.

and Wikipedia, well they provide an entire write up on it here and here

and then there was my blind date who decided that he'd like to show his - when dinner was served - at the restaurant - season: winter!

why?

his response:
"I don't want to spill anything on my shirt."
"Oh, I do this all the time."

my response:
to myself: "wow, i didn't see this coming."
to my date: "hmmm, i don't do this all the time and from the way it's looking, i'll never do it again."

image via

to say the least that was my first worst blind date - 

a dude taking of his shirt in public to eat his meal. 

there's absolutely nothing sexy about that! 
my second worst blind date...a guy with really long fingers nails 

who didn't mind licking his fingers during dinner.

***This post is a #B2SB2B week#2 - Idea Bank: Worst Date, hosted by Kludgy Mom ***

Her Child, My Child...young two's

Young Two’s Teacher: I’m excited 'E' will be moving over to the young two’s classroom soon.  He’s such a sweet boy and friendly. He plays really well when he comes over in the afternoon.

Me: Yeah, I’m looking forward to him moving as well.  All his current teachers think he’s been ready to move. You know, the only thing I worry about is…

Well…

Ummm…

Marsha [she's this bad ass little girl that used to be in my sons class but moved when she turned two – Thank GOD - and I don't like to talk about folks kids].

Young Two’s Teacher: [just smiles – really hard]

[At this point Marsha is running around the room knocking everyone around with her book bag – the kind with wheels – you know the type you can travel with]

Me: You know she’s [speaking of Marsha] bad as shit! (and I never curse, really I don’t)!

Me: Seriously, you can be honest, she’s bad isn’t she?

Young Two’s Teacher:  yes [as she clears her throat]…but she’s getting better.

Me: Right! That’s why she’s running around here as we speak tormenting the other kids!

Marsha, please stop. [in her sweet voice]

Me: Okay have a good evening, 'E' say good evening!

[As I open the classroom door Marsha’s mom is walking in]

Marsha’s mom to me: Says hi and smiles. She then says, “Oh your son’s such a cutie pie and so pleasant.”

Me:  Hello…I know…goodnight [in a sarcastic voice as I smile and walk out the door thinking otherwise about her child]

Friday Flip-Offs, 8/13 Edition

A way to get rid of you weekly angst...courtesy of the brilliant - Kludgy Mom

Here goes:

• To the laundry pile that keeps flowing  - we are no longer friends. I detest you. You just never go away. Why is it mommies clothes build up and beeka's don't? FLIP OFF.
   
• To UPS & the furniture store I purchased from. Heyyyy! Mr. Brown you decided not to knock on the door and then to leave my extremely large package right outside the door and run.  Luckily my dad was at the house waiting for my package and heard you scrambling outside! Thanks for allowing an old man to struggle to bring the package in! Any you, furniture store people, false advertisers...you rotten son of gun - you told me my furniture would be FULLY ASSEMBLED! NOT! Thanks, it took me six hours (within two days) to assemble my sons furniture. AND, I did a great job despite that pack of screws (12) I realized I hadn't used once finished! DOUBLE FLIP OFF.
   
• To my selfish cousin who never shows up for anything and then gets mad when someone misses one event of hers.  And how about your FB posts? They drive me insane. Stop it.  Seriously, how old are you? FLIP OFF.
   
• To people that refuse to use there blinkers to switch lanes while driving! keep it up - simply put, no explanation needed. FLIP OFF!

[and now in the voice of Martin Lawrence: woosah! Happy freaky Friday ya'll]

I Mean, For Serious!

McGraw Hill Kingscourt: Literacy Links Books

I’d have to say I send my son to decent rated daycare provider with awesome teachers, a good program, a great student to teacher ratio, etc.  However this past week, I’ve noticed one of the teachers in my son’s classroom uses bad grammar or that maybe her sentence structure isn’t the best when talking with the children.  For example this week (not including other weeks) I’ve heard her say to a child, “Larry, you don’t want to play with the drum no more? or “Jill where is the book at?” Now, that’s not to say that I am a grammar scholar and that I’ve received accolades on my use of sentence structure – because I haven’t.  In fact I think I am horrible! To make it even worse, I throw in a bit of slang here and there just to make myself cool and hip (smile).  However, I do try very hard to speak properly and use the correct verbiage around my boy.  Why?  Because my son is at the age where he is starting to talk a bit more beyond the simple babble.  Every day he hears and says more words.  The boy’s vocabulary is growing and he repeats everything he hears!

With this being said, I believe it is extremely important for schools, centers, daycare's, etc. to set an example when parents are not around.  I also understand as parents it is important for us to do our due diligence and reinforce what is being learned or “overheard” in a proper manner.  Am I being completely ridiculous to have these types of concerns at my son’s age? Honestly, I am not going to crap my pants over this but I do believe my concerns are valid.  I mean “for serious”, we entrust these schools and centers and leave our kids in their hands.

What are your thoughts?

Absolutely Not

Why is my only question...